Beginner's Guide to Relationships

Relationships make the world go around. There is just something wonderful about being with someone you love. But, for a beginner a relationship can be intimidating. Many people worry about scaring the opposite sex away with their talk of commitment and love. All too often, beginners are scared of having feelings for another person; scared that they'll get hurt or rejected. It's completely understandable to be afraid. No one likes rejection and no one likes to express their feelings for someone only to find out that the other person doesn't feel the same way. The following guide is meant to help people get over their fear of relationships and go from a beginner to a pro.

Tip #1: Don't Be Intimidated

Asking someone out on a date can be intimidating. You might panic thinking about where the relationship might lead. You might also become intimidated at the thought of rejection. Don't let any of this stop you. If you want to be in a relationship, you must get over the feeling of intimidation and ask someone out on a date.

Tip #2: Don't Let Rejections Stop You

Never let rejection stop you. If someone tells you that they don't want to go out on a date, that's fine. Find someone else to ask. Your first date may not be the person of dreams, but it helps to get your out there and get over being a beginner when it comes to relationships.

Tip #3: Try to Stay Calm on Your First Date

Once you've found someone that you think is perfect for you, don't get nervous on the date. When you're nervous you'll say things that you'll regret. You may even scare your date by telling them how much you like them on your first date. Instead, keep the date casual and of course end the date with a kiss and nothing more.

Tip #4: Call When You Say You Will

Being a beginner, you may be intimated to call after you first date, but you said you would. If you ever tell someone you'll call, then do so. If you wait to call, because you're scared, that person may not wait around for you to get over your anxiety. Pick up the phone and make the call.

Tip #5: Tell Them How You Feel

After the first few dates, you will start to see where the relationship is going. This is a good time to tell your partner how you feel about them. Tell them why you like them. Explain to them why you're attracted to them.

Tip #6: Don't Come on Too Strong

Whatever you do, don't come on too strong. After only a few dates, it's great to tell someone you like their eyes or their smile, but to tell them you love them might be a bit too much. Some people will be thrilled, others will want to run. Remember, you're just a beginner to relationships, so take it slow and don't scare them off by coming on too strong.

Tip #7: Discuss Important Issues

There will come a time in the relationship when you will want to discuss important issues. The way to handle these important issues is to talk about them casually. Don't discuss it like you're directly asking them the questions. Instead say things like, "My sister just had her first baby. She's so cute. What do you think about kids?" This way you get their opinion without them thinking you are directly asking them if they want to have kids.

Tip #8: Don't Rush Things

All too often, beginners rush into relationships. After not even a year of being in a relationship, they get engaged and married. This may be the reason so many people get divorced. If you really care about this person don't rush the relationship. At least wait a year before deciding to get married. This really will be the best thing for your relationship.

Making Positive Changes

We often assume we know all there is to know about our partners, but people can change over time. It is very easy to lose that connection, and not know where our partner is at now, or who they are now. In order to maintain or re-establish a connection with your partner, you could:

• take time to care for your relationship
• look at what is happening in the relationship
• stay curious (but respectful) about each other
• listen, and communicate your needs

How can I improve my relationship?

You might ask yourself how you would like your relationship to be different. If you know, then commit yourself to making the changes you need to make. One small change can sometimes make a difference to a lot of big things. Relationships need to be looked after and need commitment from both parties.

Here are some ideas for nurturing  your relationship

• greet each other at the end of the day and talk about your day
• spend time alone together
• develop common interests
• really listen, and try to understand each other
• tell your partner when you are happy and unhappy about something – honestly and respectfully and encourage your partner to do the same
• celebrate with your partner
• try to find solutions that are suitable for both of you
• express affection
• notice the small attempts by your partner for connection and show appreciation for them.

What can I do to improve my relationship?

Here are some additional ideas for improving your relationship:

• be supportive; try not to make judgements when your partner makes mistakes, or does things differently from how you would do them
• be there for each other, in the good and the challenging times
• ask for help when you cannot cope with a situation
• share the load - agree on who will do what in the household and to what standard
• allow yourself and your partner the right to put up your feet and relax
• make time specifically for yourself - soak in a bath, read, listen to music, talk on the phone to friends, exercise  - and encourage your partner to do the same
• respect and accept your differences and your similarities
• take responsibility for your actions.